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Monday, December 29, 2014

"Let it Go"

"Let it Go"?

I'm not sure what it really means to "let it go" or "release it". And I think most people would LIKE it to be that easy, except I'm pretty sure few of us know what the steps or tools are for making that happen.

So, here are a couple:

This relates to a technique called "thought stopping".
First, practice catching yourself thinking about the situation, person or event.
Next, either in your mind or out loud (you have to be very brave to do the latter!), yell, "STOP!"
Any time you find yourself thinking about the issue, situation or person, repeat the process.

It may take several tries, but for many people, this is an effective way to let go of something that's causing distress.

CONTAIN IT, then punt or drop it.
Imagine placing the issue, situation or event in a container -- a box or huge ball or balloon -- then visualize yourself punting it like a football or spiking it like a volleyball or dropping the string of a balloon and watching it float away.

As more ideas about this strategy come to me, I'll add to this list...







Attempting to

Lie   to myself.

 You could be in DENIAL.

If you were not in DENIAL,

what would you be doing differently?
Take your next step with this in mind.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Be Creative!

Be Creative!

Write -- either about the event itself or about something completely different. 

Draw or Paint -- make it like the slogan for Outback Steakhouse: "No rules. Just right." Suspend judgement and just create something.

Dance -- move your body to a beat! It circulates and releases stress chemicals from your body so you can relax.

Sing -- it doesn't matter if you sing well, the act of singing makes your body shift into a different state. It releases endorphins, increases oxygen and circulation and stimulates the vagus nerve, which relaxes the body. Add some dancing and you'll further elevate your mood!

ANY kind of creative expression can have a meditative quality that allows us to relax. When we relax, our body-mind can process more effectively and efficiently. In a relaxed state, new solutions can drop in.

What’s your creative outlet? 

Use it to help you transform this concern!

Here's a website that offers ideas for a few creative tools as well as a video that might inspire you:

Creativity is something anyone can cultivate. This website lists 4 research-based skills and habits that boost creativity:

The 4 Skills are...
  • Capture your new ideas. 
  • Seek out challenging tasks. 
  • Broaden your knowledge. 
  • Surround yourself with interesting things and people. 

The 4 Habits
  • Sleep on it.
  • Collaborate—in writing. 
  • Let the sunshine in. 
  • Get happy. 

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Pay Attention to Limiting Beliefs

Pay Attention to Limiting Beliefs

Identify your limiting belief(s) related to the dilemma you’re facing.

These are statements that sound like,
"Yes, but...." or ones that have "but" in them.
Or "I can't do ___ because ___."

Some limiting beliefs are about trust or rejection and feeling safe. 
All of them keep you from taking action.
How could you shift your belief(s), knowing that this will contribute to changing your perspective about what is happening?

From Victoria Gigante: Overcome 8 Common Limiting Beliefs That May Keep You Stuck:

From Tony Robbins, here are ten examples of empowering beliefs to try on:
1. The past does not equal the future.
2. There is always a way if I’m committed.3. There are no failures, only outcomes—as long as I learn something I’m succeeding.4. If I can’t, I must; if I must, I can.5. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose that serves me.6. I find great joy in little things… a smile… a flower… a sunset.7. I give more of myself to others than anyone expects.8. I create my own reality and am responsible for what I create.9. If I’m confused, I’m about to learn something.10. Every day above ground is a great day.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Perform a Mitzvah

Perform a Mitzvah

The Jewish word, Mitzvah, can be interpreted as a commandment to complete good deeds. 

In essence, it's a means of taking the focus off yourself and putting it on someone else.

A true good deed isn’t performed with an attitude of, “What will I get in return?”
It’s undertaken in a spirit of, “How could I genuinely help this person?”

You’ll want to take a little time to center yourself first and simply focus on helping for the sake of helping. Plan and complete a mitzvah then notice what happens within you.

Revisit your dilemma with this fresh perspective. What has changed?

Bill O'Hanlon tells a story of how he learned about "Mitzvah Therapy" from Dr. Sol Gordon here.

Need some ideas?

Commit a Random Act of Kindness. Loads of ideas on their website!

Here's an app that can help you come up with ideas and allows you to share what you've done with others.

Erin McHugh's 2012 book,  One Good Deed: 365 Days of Trying to Be Just a Little Bit Better, describes a full year's worth of mitzvah work you could focus on. Here are a few to get you started:

1. Make a big deal out of something small. Celebrate those small "wins" when you make a big decision or when someone else receives a much-needed compliment. 

2. Volunteer. So many non-profit organizations need your help! Pick one, contact them and GO. Make it a regular commitment and you'll begin to see a difference in not only your life but in the lives of others.

3. Return favors. It can be something small. Did someone buy you lunch? Drop off soup when you were sick? Even if you can't remember when someone did you a favor, maybe YOU could start a trend!

4. Make a donation. Spend a few minutes clearing items in your home that you no longer use and donate them to a thrift store. Or take canned goods to a soup kitchen. Or donate books to a library.

5. Keep a gratitude list. Ok, so this isn't a mitzvah, but when you're feeling out of sorts, making a list of things and people you feel grateful for can open a window where it seems doors were closed.